I have been in thoughts lately…
I have been thinking about how I failed you.
I sat and let them tell you “mosadi o swara thipa ka bogaleng” and I watched you bleed from holding the sharp side of the knife.
I watched you lose yourself as they hushed and said ” when a woman has problems in her marriage she goes into her room and prays about it”.
They were proud as they belived they taught you very well to be a wife and keep your family together.
Little did they know that they failed to teach you how to keep yourself alive in marriage.
They measured your strength through your endurance.
But look at you today, o kukile mabu ka dikgara, o phethile thuto ya gore lebitla la mosadi ke bogadi, bana ba fetogile ditshiwana. Gomme matsogo a ikanneng pele ga baruti go go shereletša a go bolaile.
Once again they hushed when you wanted to return back home.
They said ” re jele tšhelete tša batho” only because they were concerned as being seen as a family that failed to raise a wife .
Today I take back all the teaching the elderly woman passed to you ge be ba go laya ka lenyalo la gago.
They buried you deep in depression, suppression of emotions and now you lie motionless in a dark pit. Your silence is way too loud.
I take all the teachings back; I refuse to let your daughter go through what you went through.
I refuse to let any woman go through what you went through!
I wish I could turn back the hands of time and welcome you back home from your failed marriage with a smile of hope and your favourite cup of laughter.
And now you lay silent in the deep dark valleys, with all the scars from holding on and keeping it together. Your sadness fills the air, and I choke as I take it in one day at a time.