CHAPTER 2 – NOLUNTU
Widow – Broken Chameleon
After a long day catching up with everyone, we played games and then dine. We were all tired, just before midnight we all went to our rooms. As Lufuno had told me, his room was next to mine, we were not even opposite to each other but separated by the same wall. In my room, Q had left me sleeping dress, it was a red nightdress, it was sexy and out of all the night dress she had bought me that one. I went to the bathroom and ran the water to take a warm bath, after the bath was almost full, I stopped the water from running, then I realised that Lufuno was about to take a bath as well and that’s when crazy thoughts started running into my mind, I wished for him to come and join me. I wanted to go and join him but I was too weak to do so, my mind was in two places. I went into the bath and allowed the water to relax my body and mind. My mind was trying to imagine Lufuno taking a bath alone but the only memories I had for a man taking a bath were these of James. It was as if his memories were haunting me like a jealous dead husband, it made me so sad and angry at the same time, he was gone and yet he was still there with me. I finished bathing and went to put on my nightdress, then poured myself white wine before going to bed. As I was about to finish my wine, I had a knock at my door, “Thank God he is here” I said to myself while I ran to the mirror to fix my hair before opening the door. I took a deep breath first then I opened the door, the disappointment in me was too much to bear when I realised that it was Q.
Qaqamba: “You look disappointed madam, are you expecting someone”
Me: “No, I am just surprised to see you, I thought you are sleeping down the road”
Qaqamba: “Yes I am, I was just making sure that everyone is sorted, and I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye”
Me: “Okay, I am good, go to your man now”
Qaqamba: “Why are you acting so strange? Is Lufuno in here?”
Me: “No, I am alone”
Qaqamba: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes, I am, when I heard a knock I thought it was him, yes, I know is stupid”
Qaqamba: “So you have been waiting for him to come to you?”
Me: “As I have said, it was just a stupid thought and I was actually about to sleep”
Qaqamba: “Go knock at his room, I am sure he is also just coward like you, good thing I am here to guide you my friend”
Me: “No, I don’t want to go, like I said, it was a very stupid thought and it is gone now, I love you my friend but you need to go to your man and I need to finish my drink and sleep” of course I was lying to her and myself as well.
Qaqamba: “Okay, see you in the morning”
Me: “Bye I love you” I said while closing the door.
I locked the door and sat down on the floor, my head was on the wall, same wall which separated my room and Lufuno’s room, my heart was biting so fast and it was as if I was hearing his heartbeat as well. Without thinking about it, I stood up as quick as I could, opened my door and heard another door close to me opening as well, as I put my first foot outside it clicked into my brain that the door I heard opening was for Lufuno’s room and there he was.
Lufuno: “Are you going somewhere?”
Me: “Where are you going?”
Lufuno: “I asked first,”
Me: “I just needed some fresh air and you”
Lufuno: “Me too”
Me: “This is awkward, let me go to my bed” I said, while walking backward to my room. He grabbed my hand, his eyes were sparkling as if they were a reflection of the moon.
Lufuno: “I was coming to you, to your room”
Me: “Oh” I said while looking at his hand which was still holding mine, he let go of my hand, it was as if my reactions were not what he expected.
Lufuno: “Sorry, I will just go back to my room, I just heard some crazy thoughts”
Me: “I was coming to your room” He went for my hand again and used his other hand to close my door and opened the door to his room.
Lufuno: “Come in”
Me: “Thank You” I went in and he closed the door, his lips were so wet, in my head I was already kissing him.
Lufuno: “Do you want to sit down? Sit there since we only have one chair and I will sit here” He said while pointing at the dressing chair which was next to the big mirror. I looked at the mirror, okay; I know nightdress are for sleeping but I was rocking that dress.
Me: “I am not here to talk, I am here for the same reason you were coming to my room” I started undressing myself, few seconds later I was braless with just my panty on, he stood up and walked towards me.
Lufuno: “Are you sure about this, we have just reunited, there is no rush”
Me: “I know, but we are here now” I was already talking off his vest on a very slow mode.
Lufuno: “I want you, I need you and I don’t need this moment for just tonight and I don’t want to mess up”
Me: “Your body is crying for mine and so is mine, can we do less talking” I said while looking down at his short, he was aroused and so was I.
Me: “kiss me” The moment his lips touched mine I saw stars, it was as if I was experiencing the kiss for the first time, my body was so excited. He took off his sleeping short and throw it on the chair then he gentle carried me to the bed. He laid me there on my back, his legs where between my thighs.
Lufuno: “You are beautiful” He said, with his hands on my two girls then his hands navigated down to my hips, looked at my face and smile then he continued appreciating my body and after that he went down on me and gave me the best head ever until I came, then he came up to my other lips, we kissed then he gently went inside me, it was so painful as if I was a virgin, he tried to be as gentle as he could but it was still painful, I didn’t want to be rude at him, I had already came when he was giving me the head with his talented tongue, I wanted to return the favour and see him come as well but it was so painful, my excitement were fading away and I wanted him to get done with it.
Lufuno: “Are you okay? Must I stop?”
Me: “Don’t stop” deep down I wanted him to stop but I knew that it wasn’t about the size of his Dickson, it was about me, my Cookie had been starving for the past five years until that day. He kissed me and get off me, then faced the ceiling, it was my first time being at that situation and I had no idea what to do or say.
Me: “I am really sorry Lufuno, I wanted to” I said while facing at him.
Lufuno: “I know” then he turned and looked at me.
Me: “I am sorry”
Lufuno: “Tell me, I know you are 33 years old but are you….?”
Me: “No, I am not, I…mmhm”
Lufuno: “You don’t have to explain”
Me: “I haven’t been with another man in a while, but I am not a virgin, my hymen is gone”
Lufuno: “So, the last person you have been with is your late husband”
Me: “mmhm yes, I think I should go back to my room, I said while getting up from the bed, I didn’t want to bring James into my conscious thoughts, and I didn’t want to be there biting myself up for what had transpired, so yes; I was feeling pretty much guilty.
Lufuno: “You can sleep here”
Me: “I think is best if I go to my room” I finished putting on my nightdress, then he realised that I was serious, he got up and walked towards me to get his short which was still on the chair.
Lufuno: “You are forgetting your panty”
Me: “Oh, yah” he was holding it in his hand, I took it and put it on, then I walked to the door. He opened the door, then he put his hand on the doorframe to block me.
Lufuno: “You really don’t have to go”
Me: “I will see you in the morning”
Lufuno: “Where is your card to open the door?”
Me: “I left it inside my room”
Lufuno: “Your door is probably locked” I pushed his hand away and went to my door, it was locked.
Me: “is locked”
Lufuno: “Come to bed, we are just going to sleep, I know you don’t want to talk about what has just happened but I hope we still have more nights like this” I walked back to his room, he stood by the door for few seconds before closing it. I took off my nightdress again.
Me: “Come here” He walked towards me, I could see that he wasn’t sure about sleeping in the same bed with me with just my panty. He stood very close to me, I placed both my hands on his chest, my mind was still wrapping around his well-built chest, and it wasn’t the chest you see every day. I pushed him to the bed and he smiled. I took off his short, he Dickson was resting, probably angry at me as well. I placed my hand on him and played around with Dickson, I felt him arousing, I continue playing around with my hand as I was still trying to get strength to go down with my mouth and tongue. “I have never done this before, tell me if I am doing it wrong” I said while trying to tie my hair tight, then I did it. I could feel the sensation and the pleasure his body was getting, then I knew that I was doing it right, I continued playing with his Dickson with my tongue and my month, it was strange but I was also enjoying it. After he came, I passed him a towel before going for his lips then layed to his chest.
For a while, we were both silent and it was just the sound of our breathing.
Lufuno: “Thank you”
Me: “So, I did it right”
Lufuno: “You did” I took my hand down to my Cookie that I could sense if there was any physical pain and there was none and my body still needed him inside me, I was still very much wet.
Me: “Do you wanna sleep or you want us to try again”
Lufuno: “Are you sure”
Me: “my body still needs you, inside me”
Lufuno: “Okay, tell me if I am hurting you and I will stop” I lifted my head from his chest and started kissing him. He moved me a bit then came on top of me, continued kissing me, Cookie she was welcoming, his Dickson was gentle than the first time, there was no pain but pleasure. I came twice until it was his turn, it was so good that I wished we could keep going until morning.
Lufuno: “Are you good?”
Me: “Yes, and you?”
Lufuno: “I am good”
Me: “So, where is your secret service, they don’t work on weekends?”
Lufuno: “You really have been staying in your own island, government doesn’t provide MPs and ministers with protection service anymore and I can’t afford it on my own”
Lufuno: “Talking about you and your island, do you think you will be able to accompany me next week to the summit, it will be good for you?”
Me: “No, I can’t”
Lufuno: “Too soon for me to ask right?”
Me: “No, is not that, I don’t want to be on the news again, making headlines and it can also put my life in danger”
Lufuno: “Okay, I understand”
We took the bath together, it was as if we had finally found our heaven and I was letting my old memories with James fade away. After bathing, Lufuno dressed up and went to the reception to get an extra key for my room, then he returned with the bag which had my clothes
Lufuno: “You look more beautiful by seconds, I know I don’t have a ring but every time I look at you; I just want say marry me”
Me: “Stop Lufuno, we had a great time night last and it is going to remain like that”
Me: “It was just sex, that’s all”
Lufuno: “You felt the connection Noluntu, it wasn’t just our bodies, and it was spiritual connection. We were always meant to be together”
Me: “In this life, we don’t always get what we want, this is not about you, and it is about me”
Lufuno: “Can you at least think about it?”
Me: “There is nothing to think about, I hope you going to meet someone meant for you but I am not her”
Lufuno: “I Love You”
Me: “Please don’t make this harder”
Lufuno: “I do love you”
Me: “I don’t Love You, I have loved one man and he is gone. “
Lufuno: “Why are you fighting this, are you that scared to be happy?”
Me: “Stop shouting at me, last night wasn’t a mistake but I do not love you”
Lufuno: “Okay, I wish you all the best” He grabbed his overnight bag and walked to the door.
Me: “So you are leaving or you going to have breakfast with us”
Lufuno: “You are unbelievable, call me once you are ready to be happy and to let go of the dead” He said, then he banged the door behind me.