After packing my clothes, I left my place and drove back to Camps Bay... As I was driving everything started to sink, the guy in the SUV had said so many things, I didn't understand why the people who hired him wanted him to lie to me, to tell me that the man I mourned for so many years was alive, and for them to think that I was gonna fall for it. "How could he say Lufuno he is working for the same people who wanted to kill James, how could he, I wonder how much they are paying him, I should have shoot him and phoned the police" I said to myself while turning to Lufuno' s gate.
As I was driving in, Lufuno opened the garage door for me and I parked my car next to his. He was happy to see me back, he had an apron and carrying a table cloth. By just looking at him I then forget about all the allegations made by the guy I didn't even know. My love for Lufuno was still the same and I was still determined to marry him and I wasn't going to let anyone come into our way.
Lufuno: "Hey babes, you are back, I am almost done cooking"
me: "Did you miss me?"
Lufuno: "You have no idea babe, come, leave the bags in the car, I will come fetch them for you "
Me: "Okay, what are you cooking"
Lufuno: "Our favourite meal which happened to be Ntando' s favourite meal as well"
Me: "Great, I am starving" We went inside to the dining room, everything was already set, dining table had red and black colour theme and he had used gold cutlery, Okay, now let me go to the food; he had cooked Grilled Shrimp Pasta which was my favourite meal for all time and he then complimented it with Sauvignon Blanc white wine and juice for Ntando. Everything was beautiful.
Me: "This is beautiful"
Ntando: "I also helped"
Me: " I can see the touch of your creativity champ, thank you"
Ntando: "You welcome" Lufuno then pulled out the chair for me then I sat down, for a moment I felt like the queen of the house.
Lufuno: "We have many days ahead of us like this evening, we just need to set the date"
Me: "I love that" I said and he was squeezing my left hand. My mind was made up. "I love this man, I need to marry him as soon as possible" I said to myself...
Lufuno: "Look at us having family dinner together"
Ntando: "Dad...when is the wedding"
Lufuno: "Babe, question is for you"
Me: " We can get married anytime but first I need to go to Johannesburg, I have to tell James parents in person and hopefully my mom as well"
Lufuno: "I can come with you, when do you think it is going to be"
Me: " I am off next week from Thursday to Sunday"
Lufuno: "Great, schools will be close; I will be able to take you buddy as well...Your grandma want to see you"
Me: "Okay, then we can set a date when we get back..."
I was excited but my brain kept on flashing back the boy who followed me to my house, it wasn't easy to ignore them. I had promised myself that I wasn't going to interrogate Lufuno based on the information provided by the person who claimed that the man I was married to was actually alive.
Me: " I had a chat with the guy in the SUV which was following me few months ago"
Me: " Relax, I had my gun with me"
Lufuno: "Let's go to the bedroom..." He said, he was somehow upset and I couldn't tell if he was upset at the SUV guy or at me. We went to the bedroom and left Ntando eating.
Lufuno: "Noluntu, I love you, but you cannot be talking about guns in front of my son" Yeah, I didn't expect him to say that. I thought he was going to say something like 'are you Okay; did he hurt you' But instead he cared about what Ntando could hear and couldn't.
Me: "All I said was I had my gun with me, and Ntando knows that I have a gun and don’t worry I told him that guns are for the adults.”
Lufuno: "Did he know??? Have he saw it?" He was pretty much shouting at me.
Me: " Yes...it is in my handbag all of the time"
Lufuno: "How could you be this careless, you know that Ntando likes playing with everything and what will happen if he sneak into your handbag and start playing around with it; Okay: let me tell you what will happen; He will accidentally shoot himself and die; my son will die. " He was going on and on; I just wanted him to stop talking and shouting at me.
Me: "I know he is your Son, stop rubbing it in"
Lufuno: "Then stop acting like you don' know, I cannot be raising my son with guns around him, I am trying to raise a better son and not a gangster" I was shocked, he knew that I got the gun for protection and there he was accusing me of being a gangster. I had no word to say to him, he had just proposed me but there he was revealing his true self.
Me: "Have a great evening with your son" I said then walked out from the bedroom to the dining room, Ntando was still eating, I grabbed my phone and car keys.
Me: "Goodbye Ntando" I said then started walking to the garage.
Ntando: "Are you leaving? why?" He said while running after me.
Me: "I have to go; please open the garage for me and the main gate"
Ntando: "But why? why do you look upset?" I was upset and I just wanted to be out of that house, but it breaks my heart by just looking at Ntando's desperation to stop me from leaving. I took out the ring and placed it in his hands.
Me: "Give it your father" I said, then I got into the car and start the engine. Ntando was just standing there by the door. I rolled the left window.
Me: "Ntando, buddy, open the door"
Ntando: " I don't want you to leave" He shouted, he was very upset but I don’t for him. I stepped out of the car and walked to the kitchen to take the tag.
I went to grab the tags and somehow, I didn't bump into Lufuno, I wanted to leave but I also wanted to be him stopping me from leaving and not his son. I went back to the car, before I got into the car I noticed floods of tears in Ntando's face but I had to walk away. I opened the garage door and started driving and to my surprise; Lufuno was standing in front of the garage, as I proceeded driving he moved away from the drive through, I opened the main gate and then throw the tag at him and that was it, I drove to my place.
It was already after midnight when I arrived at my place. I went straight to my bedroom, I think you would agree with me when I say there is nothing as painful as to walk away and they don't chase you, no phone call or even a message to apologise. I lied on my bed and my thoughts they were consuming Me. "I cannot believe I fell in love with the man I didn't know at all, what's wrong with Me, maybe this is a sign, maybe James is really alive or maybe Lufuno knows the SUV guy" I was losing my mind and my brain wasn't in the state of sleeping; not with the rate my heart was beating. Before I knew it, it was 5am, I woke up and started to spring cleaning my house. I kept checking my phones for missed calls but there was none from Lufuno. By mid-afternoon it was just me and my bottles of wine. I couldn't call Qaqamba because of the obvious, I didn’t want to be her laughing stock. And wine was the only friend at that moment. I was so tipsy when I saw Lufuno phoning me on Skype, he had never phoned me on Skype so I decided not to answer since he had my number, I let my phone rang while I continue enjoying my wine.
"Lufuno and James must both go to hell, I am not begging for love, I tried and it didn't work out... I have to move on. at least I know that love is possible for me" speaking to myself was the most exhausting part. Reflecting everything was the scariest part. Later that afternoon I decided to take a shower and went to work though my shift was to start the next morning... I wanted to keep my mind occupied and work seemed like a good idea.
Mary: "Hi Noluntu"
Me: "Hi Mary...when last did you slept? "
Mary: "I don't remember; I was just going to your office to nap, I thought you are coming in tomorrow"
Me: "Well you know Me, I don't have life, I thought I should come in early..." I said while we walking to my office.
Mary: "Are you okay?"
Me: " Yes, I am”
Mary: "You face is red, were you crying, I am sorry if I am crossing the line, but were you crying?"
Me: "I am okay, sleep, I want to research about the case of Mr Davis. We are operating him tomorrow and John wants to be also in the theatre, Mr Davis he one of this Hospital donors"
Mary: " Don't you want to talk to someone? I hope is not that politician guy"
Me: "Mary I was crying okay; and now I am fine, I just want to work and you need to rest. I can't believe that I thought he loved me; my life was okay before him"
Mary: "No Noluntu, your life wasn't okay before him; you used to live work, you were hiding behind your work and now you actually have people to interact with" I smiled at her, I decided not to tell her what was happening with my life and instead I went and joined her in the couch.
we woke up the next day when someone was knocking in my office, Mary woke up to go check.
Mary: "Hi Lufuno, are you looking for Noluntu?"
Lufuno: "Yes...is she Here?"
Mary: "Mmmhm" I tried to wave at her to tell her to say I wasn't there. I didn't want to ever see Lufuno. "Yes; she is here; I was just leaving, come in"
Lufuno came in and Mary left; I had never been so disgusted to see someone than that day. I wanted him to leave.
Lufuno: "Hi" He said while pulling the chair.
Me: "What can I help you with? I need to go freshen up; my shift is starting in the next thirty minutes"
Lufuno: " I came to give you back your ring"
Me: "I don't want It, is not mine, can you now leave"
Lufuno: "I have also come to humbly myself and apologise"
Me: "Apology accepted, can you now leave" I said while taking out my toiletry bag from my other bag. He could see that I wasn't giving a rat. He stood up and stopped me from what I was doing. He took my hands and just hold them, his hands where sweating, then took his hands to my face and made me face him. He looked different from the Saturday when I left.
Lufuno: "I love you and I messed up"
Me: "I could have died Lufuno, they could have kidnapped me; I needed you and all you could say was your hate for guns....is that the love you are talking about? i don't need it; now let me go, I need to work" I wanted to pull away from him but my body needed his body; his body could also feel what my body was trying to say; it made me angry, it was my body but there I was completely hopeless, when I finally gain the strength to go against my body; I grab the toiletry bag and went to the door, I opened the door for him then he pushed it and closed it again.
Lufuno: "Noluntu" His face was so innocent, it felt like his eyes where drugging Me, my eyes couldn’t look away and I couldn't say a word. inside I was saying leave and never come back but my body was crying for one last time. Without thinking about it, I locked the door then I turned to him and kissed him.
I could see that he wanted us to talk but I wasn't interested in talking and not even going back to being his fiancée, my body wanted patlapatla so bad, and his Dickson was just excited as my Kukie. He kissed me back then carried me to my office desk. He took his time to take off my vest; he still needed to talk but I wasn't paying attention to him. Few seconds late he joined the party and started kissing me from my left boob then he went down to my hips, he stopped kissing me then took off my jean and throw it to the couch. He stepped back a bit and took off his shirt in less than five second then he just stood there full of appreciation; He returned back and started kissing me, his hands were on my hips, he went down again and gave me the best linking ever, it was one of the best; after a while I need him inside Me, I pushed him to the couch, then took off the jean with the bit of hesitation, he wanted to talk and I needed something else. I went on top of him, I needed to be in control, I didn't want him to pull away and force us to talk.
Anyway, that day was one of the best ride I had ever had. Okay, enough about patlapatla; afterwards we laid in the couch; it was silent and just the rhyme of our breath, after some minutes he break the silence in the ROOM and at that moment I wanted to dress and leave the room.
Lufuno: "When Ntando was 3 years old, my father was with him in his room, then somehow he reached for the gun, it was armed, and as he was playing the bullet went out and short my father; he lost lot of blood and he didn't make it to the hospital, even Ntando doesn't know about this" I was still angry at him, I wasn't moved by his story.
Me: "I need to go freshen up; they are going to call me anytime soon"
Lufuno: "I hated guns ever since, I stopped seeing guns as a means of protection and I have lived everyday protecting my son from people with guns. but it is not an excuse for my behaviour”
Me: "How was I supposed to know that, I have told him that guns are not for children. and the way you spoke to me...."
Lufuno: "I was being an idiot, I know I am too protective of Ntando but I was out of line"
Me: "Yes You are protective, he is your own son and he is always going to be your son; I have already thought about all this, he is never going to be my own son and thank you for reminding me, I was starting to get carried away"
Lufuno: "Look at me, I am so sorry Noluntu, Ntando loves you like you are his biological mother and there is nothing going to change that; he can be your son if you can take this ring back."
Me: "I am sorry, I can't Lufuno"
Lufuno: "Okay, I am gonna leave it here, I will give you time but please don't give up on us" I took the toiletry bag and left him in my office.
Mary: "Hey Noluntu"
Me: "Hey... is everything set?"
Mary: "No.... we are going to be using Theatre 34A, they are busy setting up and we still waiting for the blood which will arrive in the next 20 minutes"
Me: "Great...I need to take a quick shower"
Mary: "Okay...I am coming with you"
Me: "Haven't you bath?"
Mary: "I have"
Me: "Mary... I am fine, you have nothing to worry about"
Mary: "So you sorted things out with him"
Me: "Mary; please go to the lab and collect results for the client"
Mary: " Okay... see you at the theatre"
I went to shower and in the shower; I kept on consoling myself that it wasn't making love but me getting my closer, me closing the chapter with Lufuno. "Qaqamba will be so happy to know that she was right, she always gets what she wants but not me" I said to myself while dressing up. "I need to put Lufuno behind and focus on this surgery, I cannot afford to mess up career, love might not be for me but one thing I am certain about is that I was born to be a surgeon, love is not for Surgeons" I said while I was walking to the theatre.